09 May 2008

trying


I often wish I were kinder and more loving. I am saddened by my behavior of selfishness, crankiness, impatience, or responding with a retort. I never intend to be insensitive to my loved ones, but in my humanity I am prone to not always doing the right thing. (I feel like Paul in Romans 7 … doing that with I do not want to do and not doing that which I ought to do… and the answer is found in Romans 8 though. I know God is the one who can deliver me and help me to live better!) So why must I continue to fight and be disobedient? Oy vey.

All I know is that I do try and when I mess up, I acknowledge it and apologize and ask for forgiveness and try again. It breaks my heart (uh oh, and causes my eyes and face to tinge red…) to hurt anyone I love by my own insensitive behavior.

That said, I dust myself off and say a prayer. Each moment can be a fresh start.

No comments: